Tag Archives: Fiction

Make Believe

Make Believe comes to us from Kurt Fillmore. It has been [mistakenly] rejected by the following:

  • The Sun Magazine
  • The Atlantic
  • The Boulevard Magazine

Kurt provided the following Bio:

I was born in the central valley of California in 1960. I spent my early youth moving between Fresno, Merced, and Dinuba. After that I did a hitch with the U.S. Navy, reaching Photographer’s Mate 3rd class (E-4), and getting an Honorable Discharge in 1985. Along the way, I was writing. Some short stories, but mostly Motion Picture Screenplays. I never did sell anything, but my skills improved. I bopped from job to job, moving to Sonoma County in Northern California and getting training in Electronics technology. I began work as a Technician testing and repairing board level circuits in 1996. Various economic down turns took their toll and I was again moving from job to job. I’ve been working as a Technical Manager for a family fun center, or arcade, since 2015. After the Screen Writer’s Guild Strike I gave up on my dream of selling a screenplay and moved back to writing stories. In 2025 I made my first sale. ‘Make Believe’ is my second. I will continue writing fiction in various genres, inventing characters and situations that I hope readers will enjoy.I am active on Bluesky – where I follow writers, artists, and filmmakers.

When I asked Kurt what he loves about this story, this was his response:

As to what I love about this story, I think I love the first person immediate way it’s put together. When I wrote it I knew I wanted a back and forth between the director and the producer. Didn’t really have a plan, just let things evolve naturally.


Make Believe, by Kurt Fillmore

Charlie’s got me cornered up on a scaffolding. We’re watching as carpenters tack wood moldings down a length of wall, shots from nail guns sounding all around. Behind Charlie a pair of muscular twins, both union painters, sweep hoses over the facade, spraying brown paint in a mist and breathing through their respirators.

            In a few weeks we’ll be filming the big bank robbery scene. I’m directing, from a script that Charlie, the producer, hired a writer to bang out. But Charlie’s been messing with the story, and I’m not happy.

            “Two people come out of a building,” he says.

            “Yeah, and?”

            Charlie toys with the flaked end of his cigar, well chewed, but never lit. “I’m getting to that. It’s raining, see?”

            “We’ll have to tent the cameras and bring in a crane,” I say, “spray rigs, hoses.”

            Charlie waves off my concerns. “It’s cheap, Maxie owes me.”

            About then I hear faint strains of music.

            My one, my only prayer, is that someday you’ll care.

            Charlie’s watch chimes “It’s Only Make Believe” every hour. On set he bunches up the sleeve of his suit and presses hard against his wrist at 8:59, then at 9:59, 10:59, and so on. I think his wife got him the watch, and some color blind, long-distance trucker turned fashion consultant talked him into that white suit with the wide, cream lapels.

            I nod and check my own watch. Just two o’clock.

            The craft truck, with treasures of iced bottled water, waits two stories below.

            And Charlie stands between me and the ladder.

            “The two people walk under a street lamp and we see it’s George and Annabell.”

            I groan and look off at the horizon. The edges of Charlie’s mouth move down; the tip of his cigar sags.

            “You don’t like her,” Charlie says, “I know.”

            “I like her fine, Charlie. It’s a bit role, and what little talent the gal’s got I can work with.”

            “A bit role? I’m talking about changing that. Putting more meat into it.”

            Yeah, he’s putting the meat in all right, I think to myself.

            I lift the screenplay, rolled into a pastel blue baton, and tap a clean spot on the scaffold’s railing.

            “The last rewrite you submitted cost us three days. The one before that almost a week.” I smack the rail again, putting a crease into the paper. “No more.”

            Charlie stands straighter, takes the cigar out of his mouth and smacks his lips.

            “The story’s not done. I’m still exploring options.”

            “You’re banging Annabell.”

            “So what if I am? She’s talented. More than you with your little Clio’s and your ‘People’s Choice’ pretending to be a feature film, music video shit.”

            In this business, scriptwriters get rewritten, temperamental stars get thrown out, and directors get replaced. ‘Creative Differences’ means that somebody somewhere didn’t want to play ball. You never hear of a Producer getting the sack — and I mean never.

            “I’ll have to see the pages,” I say. “I probably won’t like ’em.”

            “Like, don’t like, whatever, you just set it up and shoot it. That’s your job.”

            “You’re trying to inflate her role. For what, a little more sack time?”

            “Stick to pointing the camera around. Leave the details to me.”

            I swear under my breath and duck under the railing, ever mindful of physics and the pavement below. I shimmy along the outside of the scaffold to the ladder and climb down, half tempted to toss the script.

            I hit bottom and march to the craft truck.

            Later that evening our little group has a banquet table at Morten’s. Charlie sits next to Annabell, who’s all thin giggles and heavy sighs. I’m across from Dan Arbrist, the money man from the studio.

            “Mike, the footage we’re getting looks great,” Dan says.

            Charlie leans in, “didn’t I tell you? The kid’s a natural.”

            Annabell nips at her lower lip, gives a shoulder-hunching grin of joy. She clings to Charlie’s arm.

            George Deveroe and Tischa Berringer sit to my right; the male buddies of our heist picture. George toys with a silver dessert spoon, moving a thin sludge of chocolate around the bottom of a serving dish. He smiles when he catches me watching.

            The last man at the table is Achmehem bin Taschem. He’s putting up two thirds of the production money. The studio, via Dan, is putting up the rest. Charlie’s the hub. He purchased the story rights from a second-rate crime novelist eager to push paperback sales.

            “There have been many delays,” Taschem says.

            “A few things,” Charlie says. “It’s in the budget allowance. Speaking of which, I’ve got a scene to add where George and Annabell come out of the Depository building.”

            Dan and Taschem stare at Charlie.

            “We need it, hand of God,” Charlie says, raising his own. “Annabell’s the wedge that comes between George and Tischa. We’ve got to show the moment they connect.”

            Charlie grabs his cigar, waves it at me. “And if Junior here would pick up the pace, it won’t cost us any extra time.”

            Now Dan and Taschem stare at me.

            “I’m right on schedule,” I say. “This is my first feature. I don’t need any delays; I want everything to go smoothly.”

            Taschem nods. “Of course.”

            Tischa pulls a cigarette from a thin, black metal case. He taps the filter hard against the metal, then stops. “Shit, we can’t smoke in here, can we?”

            “Let’s go out on the terrace,” Dan suggests.

            So out we go.

            The heat has mellowed with a soft breeze coming up from the coast. The seven of us make a rough oval; talking shop about the movie and upcoming scenes.

            Taschem opens his briefcase and lifts out a box of cigars.

            “A gesture, for everyone.” He scoops up several cigars, cuts the ends with a bronze finger tool, and hands them out.

            “To our success on this venture,” Taschem says.

            Annabell cups her cigar. “Thank you.”

            George accepts his, but Tischa declines with a wave of his smoking cigarette.

            “Are these Cuban?” Charlie asks. Taschem nods. Charlie throws the worn stub of his previous chew toy off the balcony, bites down on the new one.

            “Tischa, lend me your lighter,” I say.

            Tischa flips the lid open, spinning the striker and igniting it in one smooth, even motion. He hands it over.

            I raise the flame to the end of my cigar, but don’t light it.

            “Actually Charlie,” I say, “you’re the man tonight; the reason we’re doing this picture.”

            I lean towards him, enjoying his scowl as I raise the lighter.

            Charlie glances from face to face, smooths his suit jacket with a free hand. “That’s, well, to say”

            Taschem closes his eyes and purses his lips, waves his thick fingers beneath his own nose. “These cigars are the finest available to man. I’m sure you will enjoy their rare qualities. I relish them.”

            Annabell’s arm is looped around Charlie’s. He’s stuck and he knows it.

            “Charlie?” I ask. I grin, and light his cigar.

            Charlie sucks and the flame pulls towards the end. The tobacco smolders, lines of combustion run along the edges of the leaves. Charlie draws in again, and the end starts to glow. Another puff and smoke billows around the corners of Charlie’s mouth.

            I draw the lighter back and bring the flame to my own cigar. It’s good, though rather pungent. I lean towards George, Dan, then Taschem, lighting each in turn.

            “Charlie, are you okay?” Annabell asks.

            A flush of red shows at the hollow of Charlie’s neck. He draws away from Annabell’s grip, touches the tip of his nose with a finger. “Sweetie, I’m just…”

            He coughs and a drip of something green flips over his lower lip.

            “Excuse me,” Charlie says.

            He runs, coughing repeatedly, and drops to grab the rim of a potted palm. He pukes, and up comes seventy-five dollars’ worth of beef, rice pilaf, and Dewar’s Gold Label.

            Annabell darts towards him, legs swishing left and right, but Charlie’s already up and running to the rest room.

            Taschem tugs the sleeve of Dan’s suit. “Is he all right?”

            “I hope so.” Dan frowns, then glances my way, the whites of his eyes giving an angry flash.

            I puff my cigar. “The delays we’ve had so far, have been story-related.”

            Taschem nods.

            “Assuming no more story changes, we should stay on schedule.”

            “Very good. We add the Depository scene, and then we are done.”

            “Right,” I say, “after that, no more story changes.”

            Almost a month later and we’re on the studio back lot, getting pelted by man-made rain.

            “And – Cut!”

            The first assistant repeats my command and the camera eases to a halt. I give a thumbs up, adjust my poncho, and step away from the dolly.

            We’ve been on night shoots now for over a week. George and Tischa have played out their friendship across steel cables, along the edges of buildings, and down service access ways into bank vaults.

            “Let’s wrap,” I shout.

            “Thank God,” George says. He disengages from Annabell, steps over the chrome track and walks around to the monitor. “Can I see the playback?”

            “Sure.”

            I tap the Operator on the shoulder and he speaks into his headset mike. A moment later the LCD flat panel comes to life; and there they are, George and Annabell, walking through a backlit cascade of rain. George pulls the monitor closer, extending the rod and swivel.

            Annabell glances around, nibbles her lower lip again. Sorry kid, Charlie’s been laying low.

            George shifts the monitor to the side and waves Annabell over. She crosses the rails carefully and ducks under the camera tent. We watch the scene play out and Annabell breaks into a huge grin when she and George kiss.

            “Nicely done,” I say. “Good job George, Anne.”

            Maxie, Charlie’s brother-in-law, steps up beside me. His poncho rustles as he looks around my arm at the monitor. He nods. “Nice. Kill the rain then?”

            “Sure Max, kill the rain.”

            Max sweeps two fingers past his temple in salute. He raises a walkie-talkie, thumbs the switch, and gives an order. The rain stops and clear blackness tumbles down behind it. Maxie wanders off to see about hoses and other matters.

            Everybody removes their rain gear. The grips start tearing down stands and unhooking cables. The Operator and Focus Puller unbolt the camera from the dolly jib, then place it carefully into its aluminum crated foam.

            The First Assistant hands me a clip board with tomorrow’s schedule. “Good one Mike,” she says. “Print ’em all?”

            “Last three,” I say. Then to George and Annabell, “Call’s at six.”

            Annabell shivers as she tugs the soaked coat free from her shoulders. “How many more nights on the schedule?”

            I check. “Just two, we’re zooming right along.”

            “Now,” George says.

            I smile. “Yeah. Now.”

            All the details get tidied up and I walk away from the facades, down the pavement and along the back lot buildings towards my car. I hear water trickling from somewhere; maybe a drain. As I walk the sound gets louder, the syllables more distinct.

            I look up to the tops of the buildings. Girders and braces form triangles, shoring up what appear to be coarsely grained bricks of Brownstone buildings. An eight inch hose snakes below the truss, black against silver, held up by loops of rope.

            There is still the sound of water.

            I groan, then shift my shoulders, moving around a frigid drip that’s run down my neck. I look up and spot a stream of water escaping from the hose and arcing over like a crystal geyser into my convertible.

            My car is full of water. The body has squashed down over the tires and now rests almost on the rims. Ripples lick over the surface; dart between the headrests. A flotilla of baby ducks could paddle back to front, plunge down, and feed over the floor boards.

            Then I hear music, faint but getting closer:

My hopes, my dreams come true, my one and only you.

            Charlie and Maxie come around the corner, Charlie’s arm wrapped over Maxie’s shoulders.

            “The rain was beautiful, just beautiful,” Charlie says. “We might get an Oscar for cinematography.”

            They both stop at the sight of my convertible. Maxie laughs then cuts it short with a hand fastened to his mouth.

            “My god Mike, I’m so sorry,” Maxie says. “I thought I was losing water pressure somewhere.”

            Charlie chews a new cigar. He looks down at the sheets of water pouring over the door of my car, splashing across the pavement, and puddling at his feet. He smirks at me, lips curling up around those neon white, capped teeth.

            “I hope those Clios are water proof,” Charlie chuckles.

            “I’ll shut it off at the mains. Right now,” Maxie says.

            He and Charlie walk away, but it seems to me that they’re not hurrying much.

            I grip the door handle, and open it, letting loose the inevitable flood.

            A week later and I’m standing in a Marigold orange vestibule at Casa Charlie. Someone’s hung a neon painting of the Madonna on black velvet in the alcove on the right.

            “Mike, I’m so glad you could make it,” Mrs. Charlie says. “Did you get your car fixed up?”

            “Yes Ma’am, it’s in the shop.”

            “Call me Helen,” says Mrs. Charlie. She’s ten years younger than Charlie, and her arm flesh wobbles a bit beneath several layers of white silk. She toys with a chunk of Tiffany that hangs around her neck.

            “I hope it wasn’t expensive.”

            “Nothing that a three picture deal won’t fix,” I say.

            She laughs. “Come in and join everybody.” She steps towards the living room, then frowns back, eyes narrowed. “Yes?”

            I point to the Madonna. “One of yours?”

            “God no. Charlie won’t let me take that hideous thing down. I’m tempted to throw a drape over it whenever we entertain.”

            I chuckle and follow her.

            She gives me the short tour, and along the way I get introduced to society mavens, a few film critics, and one member of the Motion Picture Ratings Board who also attends Mrs. Charlie’s church. The house is open to the gentle night air. Festive lights fill the expansive drawing room, illuminating various groups as they move from the open bar and Hors d’oeuvres table to the Tiki torches outlining the backyard.

            Mrs. Charlie drops me off and goes to make sure the ice buckets are full. She never makes it, strutting away instead to answer the jangle of the doorbell.

            George, Tischa, and Annabell stand beside Charlie, along with another man I don’t know.

            “I’ve thought about it,” Charlie says, “and the only thing that makes sense, is that Annabell’s an FBI agent, undercover.”

            “Could be exciting,” the other man says.

            Dan the studio rep joins us, a tumbler of golden liquid over ice in his hand.

            “FBI?” Dan says.

            “You bet,” Charlie says. “If Annabell can get both guys falling in love with her, it throws their game off. And if she’s a fed, then George and Tischa are in huge danger. They could get arrested, they could get shot. It changes everything.”

            Dan sips his drink, “I thought we agreed no more changes.”

            “The story’s got to have what it needs,” Charlie says. He grins at Annabell and she wrinkles her nose like a pleased little ferret.

            “We already have a story, Charlie. You paid for it, remember?” I say.

            “That story was shit.”

            “But it’s the story we promised the studio,” I say.

            The other man’s face pales a bit. “You are gonna to make the release date? Right?”

            Ahh- another studio bean counter.

            Dan sighs. “Of course we’ll hit the date. Mike’s got thing’s moving pretty well.”

            “I don’t want any more story changes Dan,” I say. “I’ll be sweating in post just to get this thing cut the way it is now.”

            “Junior’s a little nervous is all,” Charlie says. “A woman brings in the female ticket sales, you know, the love story angle.”

            Dan’s eyebrows go up and he nods.

            “See?” Charlie says. “Drama. The kid doesn’t know how to make a good story yet, but I’ll teach ‘im.”

            I hold back any retort. After all — the producer never gets the sack.

            I spend the next hour fuming and drinking. A lady film critic pesters me about our project, asking for “just a few juicy bits, for my readers.”

            We’re standing in the backyard. The hot tub is silent. Cupped petals of frosted white plastic hold floating candles that drift across the larger body of the pool. Reflections from the Tiki torches bounce across ripples stirred up by the night winds.

            “Sorry,” I say, “the only thing juicy here is you.”

            She blushes on que then gives me her business card and pirouettes away. When I glance up from reading her phone number, she’s smiling over her shoulder at me.

            I smile back, then wander inside to freshen my vodka.

            “You should eat a little something Mike,” George says.

            I cap the bottle and glance at the tidbits on the next table. Nothing looks appealing.

            “How are the crab cakes?” I ask.

            “Not bad. Better than three shots on an empty stomach.”

            Annabell has been hovering about the food table. As much as I’ve been drinking, she’s been sneaking bites of cheese, sausages, and crackers. Now she’s grazing towards the spinach dip and pita platter.

            “I ate earlier.”

            “Don’t like party snacks?”

            “Not so much, no. What’s Annabell drinking?”

            George looks over. “White Zin, I think.”

            I nod, put my own glass down and uncork the bottle. I walk over.

            Annabell pokes half a pita chip into her mouth, then swallows quickly and tries to hide it. “Mike. Hi. How are you?”

            “I’m doing good Anne.” I raise the bottle and she smiles and holds out her glass.

            “I don’t know what year this is, but I like it,” she says.

            I fill her glass —

             — and slip my present into her handbag.

            “So tomorrow we shoot George and Tischa breaking into the vault,” I say.

            “Silly boys. They’re hogging all the glory.”

            I smile. “The story is about two guys robbing a bank.”

            “Charlie says he’s going to schedule some reshoots.”

            Something in my face puts her on the defensive. She squirms, knowing that she’s given away some secret.

            “Charlie said he wants to focus more on me, on what my character is going through.”

            I clear my throat. “Okay,” I say. “If that’s what Charlie wants.”

            “Really? You’re all right with that?”

            I shrug. “Come the day, we’ll shoot the scenes and see what happens.”

            Annabell hugs me, and I nearly drop the wine bottle. I glance around, but nobody notices my shock. She steps back, “I’m gonna have to rethink you, Mike.”

            “Rethink?” I say.

            “You surprise me,” she says, then scrapes white cream cheese and green spinach onto a cracker.

            I cock my head and grin. “Sometimes I surprise myself.”

            Later I find Charlie presiding over Dan and the studio bean counter. Dan’s eyes droop, his chin follows, and then he jerks his head upright.

            “Not boring you, am I?” Charlie asks.

            “It’s getting late,” Dan says. “I should go.”

            “You should have Mike drive you,” Charlie says.

            The other man grins. “Someone with some sobriety should drive,” he says, and Charlie laughs.

            “I’ve got to be going as well,” I say. “Charlie? When were you going to tell these gentlemen about the reshoots?”

            Charlie chokes a bit, glances from face to face. Dan is suddenly alert.

            “That was just, something I was toying with,” Charlie says.

            “Annabell seemed fairly keen on it.”

            The other man squints his eyes at Dan. “Missing the release date kills the deal.” He looks at Charlie. “The picture’s already booked. We’ve scheduled advertising, junkets, merchandising plugs. We can’t miss the date.”

            “We won’t miss the date,” Charlie says. “Mike’s just got to quit using those fancy camera setups. They take too much time.”

            Dan’s jaw flexes. “I think I’m with Mike on this one, Charlie. No more story changes, and reshoots are out of the question.”

            “It’s not a reshoot per se,” Charlie says. “Just a few pick-ups. To focus on Annabell’s FBI thing.”

            “No,” Dan says. “I can call Taschem to confirm if you want, but I know what he’ll say.”

            Charlie goes rigid, then runs his hand over his jaw, behind his ear, and into his hair. He relaxes himself.

            “Okay. Like I said, I was just toying with the idea.”

            “Fine,” Dan says. He turns and walks towards the front door, not saying goodbye.

            The other man follows.

            Charlie glares at me as soon as soon as we’re alone. He takes the cigar out of his mouth. “You think you’re smart, huh? You think you can beat me?”

            “I don’t want to beat you Charlie,” I say. “I just want to finish the picture. On time. The way it was written.”

            Charlie starts to say something but Annabell and Mrs. Charlie walk up, tittering over some girl talk.

            “Good night, Charlie,” Annabell says. “Thanks for the lovely time.”

            “You should stick around,” Charlie says, “things are just getting interesting.” He gives me a scalding look.

            “Early call you know. This film’s very important to me.”

            “You’ll have to get used to all this attention,” Mrs. Charlie says. “Once you’re a big star I’ll expect you at all my get-together’s.”

            Annabell grins and hunches her shoulders. “Okay. Sure.”

            Mrs. Charlie gives her a peck on the cheek.

            And then we all hear the music, loud and clear; My only prayer will be, someday you’ll care for me.

            Annabell digs a watch out of her handbag. Her face flushes and she gasps, as if fighting for a breath.

            “Honey,” Annabell says to Charlie, “you must have left it the last time we …” and she stops, unable to finish. She gives frightened glances at Charlie, then to me, and finally to Mrs. Charlie.

            Mrs. Charlie’s eyes go wet. Her lips push tightly together and the corners of her mouth pull down hard.

            My stomach clenches and a spasm starts in a muscle towards the back of my thigh. I don’t feel clever anymore. I feel like shit.

            “Helen, please,” Charlie says.

            Mrs. Charlie bolts for somewhere else, her waving hands leading the way. Charlie goes after her, leaving Annabell reaching for his back. Annabell whirls on me, spots my guilt, and throws the watch at my face.

            I spend a rough night, waking up several times with the sheets tangled around my legs; body coated in sweat. At about four, I throw myself into the shower, drag on whatever clothes I find in the closet, and drive my loaner to the studio.

            I wander around the bank vault set, downing my second cup of hot coffee, my mood improving.

            I stroll behind the riveted steel plates. On this side they’re just plywood sheets, braced with one by six boards held by screws. Thirty feet overhead are the catwalks where Electricians hang lights. Farther up, the roof girders are streaked with rust. Pink fiberglass spills out from torn plastic hung between the beams; reality is dirtier than illusion.

            Turn the corner and I’m back in a two story, maximum security bank with motion sensors, cameras, upper balconies, and security terminals to unlock the gleaming, chrome-plated vaults.

            But it’s not real. It’s just kids playing ‘make a fort’ with empty cardboard boxes.

            Mrs. Charlie’s face comes back to me and my stomach clenches again. I only met her the one time, but I know she’s real. Annabell’s real. Even Charlie, poor pathetic Charlie, is real.

            I sigh and drop my chin to my chest, then walk up the stairway grating to the upper balcony. Pretty soon the rest of the crew starts to arrive.

            “Do you know what you did?” Charlie says. His voice, full of gravel and venom, carries across the set. Several grips working below set up C-Stands and lights. Electricians lace cables across the floor. Nobody approaches us to ask about the first shot of the day.

            “Helen was screaming at me. Screaming.” Charlie raises his arm, pulls back his sleeve, and waves his watch in my face.

            “I showed her I still had my watch; God damn it. It took all night to try and convince her it was just a mistake.”

            I sigh, then look at Charlie’s face.

            “So. Now what?” I say.

            “Now what? You’re fired is what,” Charlie says. “You’re so fired. You’re fired back to some ad agency making ice cream commercials.”

            “Charlie,” I say, “you win.”

            “Oh, I win?”

            “Yeah, you win. Anything you want, I’ll do.”

            “Oh, now you’ll do what I tell you?” Charlie says. “Like you suddenly got smart and realized who’s in charge around here.”

            “Like I got smart and decided what’s important.”

            Charlie looks me up and down like he can’t figure out why I’ve changed my mind. The end of his cigar waves in the air as he thinks.

            “If you have to get somebody new,” I say, “it’ll just take them more time to finish up.”

            Then Charlie bristles and dismisses me with a wave of both hands. “Forget it, you’re fired. You march your ass off MY set. I’ll finish this bitch myself if I have to, but you ain’t here. Not anymore.”

            I glance around the upper balcony, from the lights above to the set floor below.

            It had been a nice ride.

            I shuffle past Charlie towards the stairs. “Try not to ruin the picture, Charlie. It was a pretty good little story.”

            “Piss off. You wouldn’t know a story if it landed on you like a bird droppings,” Charlie says. He turns away from me and heads around the balcony.

            “Charlie, stop!” I shout.

            He flips me off over his shoulder and keeps walking.

            I sprint towards him. “Charlie!”

            The crew all look at us but nobody can prevent it.

            Charlie steps past the secure, braced area of the balcony and onto the fake section.

            The balcony splits and balsa gives way, crumbling as Charlie’s bulk plunges through. He gives a surprised shout that separates him from his cigar. There’s a flash of white suit, and Charlie’s gone.

            Crew members race across the floor and I see my Second Assistant already on the walkie talkie, calling for paramedics. A Grip pulls back a wall panel, and one of the camera guys helps. Nobody gives a damn about union restrictions in an emergency.

            I creep towards the hole in the balcony and peer down to where Charlie lays, his right leg bent out from his body at an unnatural angle.

            Then we hear the music:

But it’s onnnnnlllly make – beeeelieve.

            We can’t help ourselves. Everybody on the crew checks their watches. It’s a seven a.m. call.

The ambulance finally arrives and they get Charlie hoisted onto a gurney. At the hospital, they take good care of him. The arm break is bad, but manageable. The leg’s worse, but a metal pin and a cast take care of that.

Afterward, we don’t see much of Charlie. He spends the rest of the production at home in bed, his leg in a sling, watched over by the ever-dutiful, and ever-possessive, Mrs. Charlie.

Filming moves forward and something shifts.

We shoot the remaining scenes as written, no delays, no rewrites.

Post goes great; the music and sound effects come together like we’d planned it that way all along.

At the first screening, everyone claps. Some of the crew even cheer. Once the film gets released it brings in solid box office numbers. A weight lifts off my shoulders I didn’t even know I was carrying.

I’m offered another project, and for once, I don’t hesitate. Even the lady film critic calls back.

George and Tischa split off for solo roles, each with nice salaries.

            And Annabell?

She got nominated for Best Supporting Actress.

            I guess she really was talented all along.

Going Beyond Stereotypes: Revealing Core Traits that Make Characters Real

There are two extremes when creating characters: making them too consistent or too chaotic. One leads to cardboard cutouts and the other creates confusion. Real people aren’t like that and neither are great fictional characters.

The Myth of Consistency

In real life, character traits shift with emotion, and context. A nun might swear. A stoic father might cry at a movie. Even the most cheerful friend can act cold and distant.

People (and good characters) are more layered than the stereotypes we often rely on.

Core Traits and Their Edges

Every person (and character) has core traits that outline who they are. Think of it as their character framework. The key is to show not just the traits, but the edges of their idiosyncrasies and often morality. Where do they bend? Where do they break? What caused them to do the thing you never thought they would do?

A good trick is to use contrast.  For example, A loving mom who loses her cool. A selfish character that donates anonymously. These moments tell us more about who they are than consistent stereotypes ever could.

Think about all the different moods you saw in your family members in growing up. The loving mother who put your artwork on the fridge and called Grandma to brag about it is the same person who might go off the rails yelling at you when your socks don’t make it into the hamper.

If done well, these moments shouldn’t contradict who the person is but instead reveal their character and endear them to the reader. Those “out of the norm” moments are the moments we can best relate to.

The “What Are They Like?” Shortcut

When someone asks you, “What are they like?” you usually distill a person into a few key traits, often with a “but”:

“She’s really stingy, but she spends a lot on her dog.”

That one sentence gives us:

  • Her frugality
  • Her emotional attachment to her pet
  • but also a glimpse of her contradictions

It also makes us wonder why she is that way. Why is the dog of such importance that she readily spends money on it? Is there something that happened in her past where she has a hard time with people and can only relate to pets? Or did she lose a pet when she was a child, maybe because of something she failed to do to take care of it, and is now overcompensating in order to atone?

Writing Exercise: Bring It to Life

  1. Choose a character you’re working on.
  2. Ask yourself: “What are they like?”
  3. Try to include a “but” in your answer.
  4. Then write a single line of dialogue about them. It should be something another character might say.

Example: “He’s totally unreliable, but he’s the first person I would ever call in a crisis.”

That not only tells us something, but it also hints at what’s lurking beneath the surface. It also sets up the story for a later explanation as to why that character is the way they are. It’s a good hook that keeps the reader engaged.

Great characters are made by revealing the edges of their core traits. This makes them relatable. Show those core traits, then show where they stretch, or even break, under pressure.

-James

Time is Relative

This week we have a wonderfully touching story by Laura McCorry.

Laura McCorry (she/her) is a writer, yoga teacher, and baking enthusiast who lives outside of Washington, DC. Her work has appeared in Poetry Quarterly. Connect with her at lauramccorry.com or on IG, @lauramccorrywrites

This piece has been [mistakenly] rejected by the following publications:

  • Analog Science Fiction and Fact
  • Kenyon Review
  • LCPL Short Story Contest
  • Intrepidus Ink
  • Haven Spec

When I asked her what she loves about this story this was her response:

The desire for more time with our loved ones is universal and it hits the hardest after loss. I really love the question in this piece–what amount of your own life would you give up in order to have another hour with someone who has died? I like that there’s no right or wrong answer. But I also like when magic work-arounds have limits and consequences because death is the one rule we all must obey.


Time is Relative

by Laura McCorry

The baby cries. I roll over, ready to ignore her before I remember Sal’s not here. He won’t change her diaper and bring her to me ever again. I stumble to her bassinet. The room is bathed in silvery shadows from the streetlight outside. The wind whips around the house and the oak tree’s bare knuckles rap against the window pane.

I hold Pearl close to my chest. It’s not supposed to be like this. She cries harder and cries escape my own mouth, a rip tide to her waves. Pearl screams while I change her diaper, screams while I wash, screams as I bring her back to bed with me. She only quiets when I feed her. 

If I close my eyes, it feels like before. Pearl is nestled in the center. I can pretend our two bodies curve around hers. I can pretend there was no car crash, no knock on the door, no carousel blur of days I don’t want to remember, but do.

#

Someone is knocking at the door. I’m grumpy about being woken, even though it’s light outside. I pull on a robe, hurrying to get there before they wake Pearl. But it’s not a neighbor or one of the church ladies. 

It’s a man in a grey suit who doesn’t take off his hat. He holds a tan suitcase horizontal to the ground and shakes down four collapsible legs.

“I’m not interested,” I say, already closing the door.

He opens the suitcase. Four rows of gleaming brass watches and jewelry catch the sunlight, but it’s the sign inside the lid that’s caught my attention: Time is Relative.

My biggest regret is that I didn’t meet Sal sooner. I spent so many years alone, or with the wrong person, which is worse. And Pearl was our miracle baby. Whenever I complained about those lost years, when we didn’t know each other, before we had Pearl, he always told me, “Time is relative. I’m here now, aren’t I?” 

It feels like a sign.

There’s a gleam in the salesman’s eye when I open the door wide.

“Aha, for the young mother with sleepless nights.” He lifts a locket off the blue velvet and holds it up. “Put a picture of your little one on one side and read every upcoming scrape or illness on the other.” 

I try to imagine Pearl running on the sidewalk and falling down. Pearl when she’s school-age, lying on the couch with a fever. But all I see is Pearl clutched in my arms in our dark room, crying as if she’ll never stop. And why should she? I shake my head, retreating.

The man holds up a finger. “No, I see now. It’s not the future that troubles you.” 

He picks up a long chain. At the end is a golden disc, encircled by a golden band. He flicks the disc and it spins freely inside the band. He stops it and slides his long fingernail along the edge to open a latch. It’s a pocket watch.

“For the lonely heart that wants more time,” he says, holding it out to me.

A bird calls from high in the tree. My eyes stay riveted on the watch. It sways at the end of the chain and I think maybe it pulls toward me. Then it’s in my hand.

“Now, this piece is special indeed.” His voice is honey over cooled magma. “It works just like a regular watch, see? And you never need to wind it.”

The metal backing feels warm in my palm, as if I’ve held it a long time already. As if it belongs in my hand.

The salesman leans forward and indicates a knob on the side. “But if you turn the hands backwards, you can bring back someone you’ve lost for a night.”

My fingers clench it tight, the metal biting into my skin.

“Why one night?” My heart gallops, ready for night even as the sun climbs higher.

“Well, you can have as many nights as you choose,” says the man. It’s hot, but he doesn’t remove his jacket and his brow is dry. A rivulet of sweat rolls down my neck into the too-thick robe I threw on over my breastmilk-stained shirt.

“What’s the catch?” I ask.

“The catch?” He raises both eyebrows, feigning innocence.

“Yeah, the bait and switch, the hidden cost.” I’m holding the watch but it can’t be real. It can’t be what he says it is.

“There’s no catch,” he says, almost laughing. “It’s an exchange.” He taps the sign, Time is Relative. “We can’t go around breaking the laws of physics.”

I narrow my eyes at him. I should put it back. Go inside and shut the door. I should pick up Pearl who is awake now, babbling in her crib. I don’t do any of that.

“You can wind it up to six hours backwards each night. Your loved one will come back to you for that many hours,” he explains.

The watch glints gold beneath my fingers. Pearl starts to cry, wondering where I am. She’s not desperate yet.

“In exchange,” he stresses the word, “you will lose a year off your own life.”

“A year each night?” I ask, calculating.

“A year for every hour,” he says, his voice a loosed arrow.

My heart falls like a stone, crashing against my ribs. It’s hard to breathe. Pearl is crying in earnest now. The man holds my gaze, pretending to wait for my answer, as if he doesn’t already know.

“I’ll take it,” I say. My hand closes around the watch and I hold it to my chest.

The man touches the brim of his hat and shuts the suitcase. I don’t wait to watch him leave.

#

Sal’s place is empty at the dinner table, the watch nestled on its chain on his placemat. Sometime today I became afraid of it. I don’t want to touch it, but I can’t tear my eyes away. Outside the window, the sky is a blaze of orange. Pearl isn’t eating anymore, just throwing her food on the floor. 

Inevitability hangs in the air as if I am watching a movie about my own life. I’m waiting for darkness and wondering when it will be night—the question I should’ve asked. I settle Pearl for sleep, knowing she’ll be up again soon.

I walk away from her crib, holding the watch by the chain. The mattress sinks beneath me as I turn on Sal’s bedside lamp. I open the latch. My fingertips grasp the knob and I turn the minute hand backwards. Fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fifty-nine. I’m so careful not to go past the hour mark that my hands are sweating. Then I drop the watch onto the nightstand like a hot coal. 

How long do I have to wait? Should I unlock the front door? 

Then a weight settles next to me on the bed. I turn and fall against him. My hands on his face, in his hair. His mouth on mine, a magnetic pull I’m powerless to resist. And it’s the same as it’s been a thousand times before. And it’s new because I’m sobbing the whole time.

“It’s okay,” Sal says, his eyebrows drawn together.

He doesn’t know he died, I think. 

He smooths back my hair. “It’s okay,” he says again. He always hated to see me cry. But it’s not okay and it’s never going to be okay. His words can’t change anything.

Pearl wakes with a hiccough and a cry. Sal goes to her and she settles on his shoulder. I take a picture with my phone even though it’s dark. Desperate to save something that can’t be saved. Then I go to them and wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head on Pearl’s small back, breathing in her clean scent, feeling the rise and fall of her breath. 

It has to be enough. It will never be enough.

#

Sunlight streams through the window when I wake. There’s a delicious moment before I open my eyes when I’m aware of being well-rested for the first time in months. I stretch my legs under the covers, luxuriating in the swipe of cotton against my skin. My body feels lithe and strong, like it used to be before I had Pearl.

I reach for my phone and check the photos. But the last photo is of Pearl in a baby swing yesterday afternoon.

It’s so quiet. Too quiet.

I fling back the covers. The crib in the corner is empty. She just learned how to climb out of it last week. My heart thuds outside of my chest. Panic swells behind my eyes. There’s a noise in the kitchen and I run down the hall. 

Pearl is sitting in the middle of the tiled floor. Her chubby feet are touching each other, knees bent for stability. She has a look of intense concentration on her face. Gold flashes against the ceiling. I clutch my chest, panting. She’s holding the watch and her tiny fingers are turning the knob backwards.

Changing the approach

I’ve heard that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.  For fiction writing there is truth to that, as you have to be a bit insane to pursue fiction writing with an expectation of getting paid to do it.

The saying has me thinking about changing my approach to see if I can a few more land sales.

My current process is:

  1. Wait until inspiration strikes (if ever) and write a story
  2. Find a market that the story might fit and submit
  3. Get a rejection then GOTO step 2

A better approach might be to:

  1. Target a market that suits me
  2. Write something appropriate for the market and submit
  3. Get a rejection and GOTO step 2

The new approach requires me to abandon that whimsical, spur-of-the-moment, writing that occurs when an idea for a story hits me.  There is fantasy in my head that all of the great fiction authors operated by writing whatever the hell they felt like. It feels wrong to force myself to deal with the hand-cuffing constraints of catering to a specific market. My creative side wants its freedom, dammit!

But there is also an analytical side of me that likes this surgical approach — dissecting the stories they have bought, feeling through the structure, the language, looking for the fingerprints in the tales that made those first readers and editors salivate like Pavlov’s dogs.

So who is my victim target market?

I have picked out Points in Case. They do funny well and I do like me some funny.  They publish funny lists and I feel like a funny list is a reasonable bar to hurdle; the word count is relatively low so my thinking is that I should be able to come up with list stories pretty quickly.

In practice, however, making a funny list is harder than it seems. As the individual “funny” items are added to the list, you start to question your ability to determine if something is funny or not.  Sometimes things I think are funny are just weird, or worse yet, offensive.

I have already submitted one list story to P.I.C., which was promptly rejected. I currently have another one sitting with them that I like a lot better. Whether or not it gets accepted is up to the fiction gods at this point (and we know how finicky they can be) but, then again, that’s all part of the craft.

Have you tried writing to specific markets before? If so, let me know in the comments how that worked out for you.

-James

So, I guess it’s been a while…

I intend to resume posting on a regular basis — right now a weekly cadence seems right to me, but I know how fast that kind of deadline can creep up on a person, so don’t hold me to it just yet.

I will add in more writing resources as I come across them. While I am using this blog to share my writing journey, I also intend to share the tools I find along the way.

Believe it or not I actually have been writing and have even landed a few more stories than what I have listed here. I will update my progress and make sure to let you know about any stories I happen to land in the future.  

Also, I have been thinking about setting up a site (or possibly using this one) to publish fiction from other authors.  There is an abundant of supply of short fiction and very little demand, so that might be a good way for me to do my part to help balance things out a bit. Who knows I might even be able to figure out a way to pay authors for their work.

Let me know your thoughts below — assuming there is anyone left reading this blog to have thoughts.

-James

Getting a bead on Stanley Schmidt

Getting a bead on Stan.

Stanley is the Editor of Analog Magazine.

As you may or may not know, I have been reading some of Stanley Schmidt’s work in order to get a feel for what he might like in a Sci-Fi story.   My theory is that all things being equal, learning about the man’s interest and style of writing could help me to tailor my stories toward something he has an interest in.

The biggest thing I have learned about Stanley is that he is really just looking for a good story.  My assumption is that there are a lot of those, so I need to hedge my chances by writing in a style and maybe even including content that will catch his fancy.

Here is what I have learned so far:

1) Stanley like music. He includes it as a trait of the Kyyra (Alien race) it in his book “The Sins of the Fathers”. Reading online about Stanley and Analog showed me that Analog magazine employees have also formed an informal band.

2) Stan loves to end a chapter with a hook or cliffhanger for the next chapter.

3) He does a lot of telling in his writing.  I am basing this on “The Sins of the fathers” which was written in 1975, so his writing style may have changed a bit since then.  But it’s good to know that he probably doesn’t consider telling ( as opposed to showing) as much of a mortal sin as some fiction aficionados do.

I had recently read Issac Asimov’s “Foundation” prior to reading Stan’s book. It could just be the temporal proximity of the two rattling around in my brain, but it seems that Stan’s writing style is very similar to Asimov. It made me think that  Asimov may be a mentor of sorts for him. There is also mention of a “Foundation “ in ‘Sins of the fathers” which seemed an awful lot like Stanley’s way of tipping his hat to Asimov.

4) Stanley has a degree of inefficiency in his writing. I think we all do, but the one sentence I really keyed off of was when he used a phrase that was something to the effect of  “He changed the subject”, then went on to show the changing of subject in the dialogue.  If you show the action happening, you really don’t need to tell about it beforehand.

What I gathered from this is that Stanley should be pretty forgiving if I inadvertently do something like that.

I am sure there is a lot more to learn about this man, but I am probably better off just working on perfecting the stories I have to tell, and not worrying so much about tailoring my stories to please one editor.

James

Two more rejections

I have received two more rejections since the last post.

One was for my story “The closet”, which is about a mysterious black void that changes things for both better and worse after they are placed inside it. The rejection came from Science Fiction and Fantasy Magazine Editor Gordon Van Gelder who wrote:

“Many thanks for Submitting “The Closet,” but I’m going to pass on this one. I’m afraid this Twilight Zone-ish story didn’t quite grab me, alas. Thanks anyway for sending it my way and best luck to you with this one.”

At first glance the rejection seems soft and nice, but after getting a few of these you can read between the lines.  Let’s break it down:

“Many thanks for Submitting “The Closet,” but I’m going to pass on this one”

First off, I never realized that you put the comma within the quotes, before the conjunction on a sentence like that.  I assume he is correct in doing this, the man is an editor after all, so I am going to tuck that grammar tip away for later.

I also like his fun, loose tone in the rejection letter. There is no “Dear sir” from this guy just a “Many thanks,” like he’s wearing sandals and chewing on a beef jerky while responding.

Breaking it down to what this sentence really means, I get:

“I am not going to buy your story”

He then goes on to say:

“I’m afraid this Twilight Zone-ish story didn’t quite grab me, alas.”

Translation:

“You ripped off of the Twilight Zone. It was obvious, and I didn’t like it.”

He did use the word “alas”, and when I read that I first pictured him in a regretful whimsical sigh, but then I realized I am not even sure what “alas” means.  I always kind of thought it was like the conjunction “but”, except Gordon used it at the end of a sentence, so I looked it up by typing  “Define: alas” into my favorite search engine.

This is what Google had to say:

Alas: Unfortunately: by bad luck; “unfortunately it rained all day”; “alas, I cannot stay”

So the full sentence really translates to:

“You ripped off of the Twilight Zone.  It was obvious, and unfortunately I didn’t like it.”

Editor Gordon then ends with:

“Thanks anyway for sending it my way and best luck to you with this one.”

Translation:

“Please don’t send this to me again, or anything like it.”

I also stumbled on  “best luck” as I have always heard that phrased as “best of luck”.  I wonder if Gordon missed a word or if that’s actually the proper way we should be using the phrase.  Maybe the addition of the word “of” is just an idiom we all picked up over time?

I consider if I should start saying ‘Best luck” from here on out and think:  What am I the Queen of England?  What do I care if I’m not proper?

I decide that I am still going to use it my way, with “of” tucked neatly in between “best” and “luck”.

To drop the “of” would be like calling this guy “Gordon Gelder.” I am pretty sure “van” translates to “of”, and that his last name, Van Gelder, at one time literally meant “of Gelder” or “of Gold” or something like that.

I find a certain degree of pleasurable irony in all that.

Translating the whole thing we get:

“I am not going to buy your story. You ripped off of the Twilight Zone; it was obvious, and unfortunately, I didn’t like it.  Please don’t send this to me again, or anything like it”

I would love to get a note so full of refreshing candor like that, but Editors have to maintain all this tact so as not to drive the other unqualified, and much less stable, writers into a gun toting rage.

The second rejection came from Ty Drago, Editor of Allegory E-zine.

OK, is it just me, or is “Ty Drago” the absolutely coolest name ever?  I mean that name could pass for either a superhero or a super villain. The Ty part makes him sound warm and friendly, like that guy on the home makeover show, and “Drago” just sounds like, if you did some genealogy research, you may be able to trace his bloodline right back to Satan.

This is what Mr. Coolest-name-ever wrote:

“Thanks for letting us ‘Things Remembered.” I regret to say that it’s just not right for Allegory.

 

Here’s what our editor had to say:

>

> What I liked: The imaginative plot

>

> Reason for rejection:   Could benefit from some editing. Punctuation

> errors (dialogue tags, lack of commas); spelling errors, repetitive

> use of the word ‘it’ and ‘that’.  Small stuff, but distracting.

>

 

I’m sorry. Best of luck with this one in other markets.

 

– Ty Drago

– Editor

– Allegory

Clearly this was submitted before I boned up on grammar.  Or at least did some boning. Er…  you know what I mean.

Let’s still break it down and see what Ty really meant:

“Thanks for letting us “Things Remembered.” I regret to say that it’s just not right for Allegory.”

Once again I stumbled while reading, this time it was on the disconnect between  “us” and “’Things Remembered’”.  It looks like I am supposed to infer the word “see” in between, but I am guessing it’s just an oversight/typo on his part.

It’s also kind of a slap in the face when they go on to rip about my grammar problems.

Translation:

“I am not going to buy your story”

Next line:

“Here’s what our editor had to say”

 

What? I thought your title was Editor?  Wait, are you are a slush pile reader, or a maybe just a guy who knows how to run the e-mail a lot better than the editor?  Because I can see the “>” symbols showing me that the editor forwarded an e-mail back to you…. I guess, a filter is probably the best term for you.

But I then realize that may also mean my story made it through one reader, and onto the big chief, before getting the final rejection. That seems kind of cool.

And then I get all “conspiracy theory” and wonder if Ty Drago didn’t just add the >’s himself.

It would work so well; making it look like my story made it’s way through to the editor, and was seriously considered. Plus there is the whole “power of the third party” thing where I can’t really get mad at Drago for things the editor had commented about, and apparently there is no name to this higher up editor, so there is no way for me to go ballistic on him/her.

I then think that maybe Ty is the Editor and someone else runs the e-mail on his behalf, using his name.

I decide that’s what I am going to believe.  It’s probably healthier than conspiracy.

I continue to read between the lines.

“> What I liked: The imaginative plot”

 

At first glance, this comment makes me feel really good about my story. Like there is some hope since I at least have an imaginative plot.  But then I realize if you were going to pick one thing that could generically apply to, and flatter, all writers, commenting about how creative the plot is, would be that thing.

No writer who submits a story thinks “I hope my rip off of Star Wars goes over well.”   Everyone thinks that they have some unique and original twist in their own story.  Even though there is a whole Joseph Campbell-ish mindset out there that there is really only one story and all other stories are spin offs.

Translation:

“There was nothing positive about this story.”

Next lines:

> Reason for rejection:   Could benefit from some editing. Punctuation

> errors (dialogue tags, lack of commas); spelling errors, repetitive

> use of the word ‘it’ and ‘that’.  Small stuff, but distracting.

Jeez, slow down on using three lines to reject it. I get it already – I are bad at grammar.

Although I was surprised on the “it” and “that” comment.  I didn’t realize I had such a problem with it/that.

Translation:

“You fail to grasp English. ”

Next Line:

I’m sorry. Best of luck with this one in other markets.

 

(~See~ this guy said “Best of luck”)

Mr. Best-name-ever actually spelled out “other” markets to me.  So not only does he not want to see this story again, but maybe I should also try to hit the minor leagues with it and the rest of whatever I have to offer him.

Translation:

“I’m laughing at you. Don’t send anything to me again. You are way in over your head.“

When we put it all together this is what Ty really had to say:

“I am not going to buy your story. There was nothing positive about this story.  You fail to grasp English. I’m laughing at you. Don’t send anything to me again. You are way in over your head.”

It seems harsh, but I think, pretty accurate.  It’s just too bad that editors don’t feel like they are able to write that candidly.

And don’t think for a minute any of this has gotten me down.  I just need to polish up another batch of my crap and send it off to annoy yet another league of editors.

James

Fonzie gets rejected

On 6/29/10 I sent off a 2700 word Sci-Fi story called “Little green Fonzie” to ANALOG magazine.

I had a lot of hope for this story as it was about and Alien dressed as The Fonz, that comes down to earth to bestow knowledge onto the human race, provided the person he picks can explain why we are worthy.

The story contained a good amount of humor, which I thought would buy me some browine points with the Editor, but unfortunately, this Saturday (8/7/10) I received back my SASE with the default rejection slip inside.

And no personal note of any kind.

It makes me wonder if a story is accepted and they cut you a check, do they would still use the SASE I provided?

I am guessing that payment probably happens via accounting and they use their own envelopes for that.

I really want to see one of those envelopes in my mail box.