Category Archives: My opinions on writing

Ten Story Tropes to Avoid

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Here are ten common tropes that have been used so often they’re usually better avoided. Also, I have to admit that most of these are seen more in movies, but I still consider that storytelling so, let’s just go with that and let me get away with it this one time. Thank you.

1. Crawling Through Air Vents

This one shows up constantly in action movies and thrillers. A character escapes or infiltrates a building by climbing into the ventilation system and crawling through ducts like they’re made for human travel.

In reality, most air ducts are thin sheet metal that won’t support a person’s weight. They’re also cramped, and if they are heating ducts would get pretty hot and probably cause you to pass out.

Once you think about how unrealistic this trope is, it becomes hard not to laugh when you see it.

For Fun I found a blog post that lists the top 5 air vent scenes in movies.

2. The “Knock Someone Out for a Few Minutes” Trick

This is where a character knocks the guard unconscious with a punch to the head. The victim wakes up later with nothing worse than disorientation or a milk headache.

In reality, a loss of consciousness lasting more than a few seconds is a serious brain injury. If your character regularly knocks people out this way, they’re probably leaving a trail of permanent neurological damage behind them. I would much rather see some chloroform on a rag get held in front of the guards mouth and nose, or a taser disable them for a moment.

3. The Conveniently Overheard Conversation

Your protagonist just happens to walk past a door just as the villain is revealing his entire plan.

No effort required. No investigation. Just perfect timing. (see also my post on what role luck should play in fiction)

This trope removes agency from the main character and replaces it with coincidence. Information in a story like this should come from effort, not luck.

4. The Villain Explains the Entire Plan

This works for me in the Bond movies because it sort of “is what it is” in those. I feel like those movies define the whole trope and I give them a pass for it. But even then it’s still clear that this kind of exposition exists purely as an information dump. If these were real villains, monologuing their evil plans would be very careless. There is really no advantage to doing that, unless you want to compromise the 4th wall and let the audience (or in our case reader) in on something.

5. The Countdown Clock

A bomb is set to explode in exactly ten minutes. We can tell this from the red LED display conveniently visible to the hero. Being a very technical person, this one has driven me crazy for years.  Bomb timers based on old-style alarm clocks where the alarm goes off and there is a physical contact closure built into the bell mechanism, yeah, that makes practical sense. Spending extra money and design time to put a digital LED read-out into something that will blow up seems like a lot of unnecessary cost and work.  It’s good to have a metaphorical ticking clock that provides pressure for the protagonist but it’s doesn’t have to be a real one and it rarely makes practical sense to have a LED display.

6. The Instantly Hacked Computer

A character types furiously for ten seconds and announces:

“I’m in.”

Complex computer systems do not collapse instantly under a few keystrokes. Real intrusion involves research, social engineering, and patience.

I also see this kind of instant solution when a character in a movie goes to hotwire a car – they put two wires together and have it running in a matter of seconds. I guess we are just supposed to ignore the fact that it would take more wires than that and the fact that the steering wheel is usually locked.

7. Guns That Never Run Out of Ammo

You see this when characters fire dozens of rounds without ever reloading. I have to admit this has gotten better in movies lately but you do still see it. The new foul is that they change magazine so often now you wonder where they were keeping all of that heavy ammo when the chase scene was happening.

In fiction, running out of bullets is often times more interesting than having an infinite supply.

8. The Totally Useless Security Guards

In many stories, guards exist only to be knocked out or distracted.

They rarely communicate with each other, never notice obvious problems, and seem completely unaware of their surroundings.

A competent security system has multiple guards, cameras, procedures and can create much more interesting obstacles for your characters than the cardboard cut-out guards we usually see.

9. The One-Line Medical Miracle

A character receives a serious injury but is fine after a quick bandage and a few minutes of rest.

Broken ribs, stab wounds, and gunshots tend to have a much longer recovery times than a few minutes. Think about the last time you were injured in anything more than an inconvenient way and how much that slowed you down. I literally had my back go out when I was turned wrong and sneezed one time and I was basically disabled for three days, bordering on tears when I went to put my socks on. I have to imagine being shot in the stomach would slow me down quite a bit more than that.

Injuries that actually affect a character’s abilities make stories much more believable and raise the stakes.

10. The “It Was All a Dream” Ending

Few endings frustrate readers faster than discovering that the entire story didn’t really happen. Now, I did just see the Wizard of Oz at the sphere (which I equate to Disneyland in the expense and “gotta see it at least once” factor) and I am giving that movie a pass at this but for every other piece of fiction, you have to realize that dream endings are a cheat. They erase consequences and invalidate the emotional investment the reader made throughout the story.

Unless the dream itself is the point of the story, this trope almost always a bad idea.

The Real Problem with Tropes

The problem comes when tropes becomes so familiar that the stop feeling like a story choice and start feeling like lazy writing.

Readers enjoy stories where events happen for believable reasons, where characters solve problems through effort and skill and where the world behaves in ways that feel authentic.

If you find yourself reaching for one of these tropes, ask a simple question:

“What Could really happen instead?”

The answer is often surprising and far more interesting than the cliché. Spend a bit more time thinking through potential endings and as David Mamet would say, “make them surprising and inevitable.”

-James

Writing Short Stories:  Return on Time Invested

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Stories vary in the amount an author receives for publication. One of my stories, The Right Answer, has provided a lot in return for the amount of time it took me to write it. And that return has been more than just financial.

The financial side was good, as far as 3000-word fiction goes anyway.  I initially published it in Alex Shvartsman’s UFO 3 anthology (still available on Amazon, BTW) then later as an audio “reprint” on Escape Pod and Tall Tale TV.  I received a small payday each time it went live.

This is pretty good considering I wrote the story in one sitting. I did do a bit of editing later and then had to reshape it based on the feedback the market provided but as stories go, this one had a lot less of my time into it than some of my stories that have never been published.

But the most rewarding “return” I got was being able to see the feedback from those who read it.  I recall a highlight for me when it was initially published: A woman from Australia emailed me to tell me how much she enjoyed the story. She was eating cereal while reading it and nearly shot milk out of her nose at one funny part. It’s an indescribable experience to know that I tickled the funny bone of some stranger, on the other side of the planet, so much that they felt they needed to reach out to me.

Only recently did I notice that Escape Pod has a discussion forum (and do check this out) for stories they publish. It is thrilling to see people talking about the words I have put together.  There were a few people that didn’t like the story, which an author never likes to see, but there are many more who enjoyed it very much. The story is [meant to be] a comedy and tastes can vary quite a bit, so I do expect there to be some that give it a thumbs down.

Let me know in the comments down below what your experiences have been with feedback from those who have read your work.

-James

Storytelling as a Reflection of the Times

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I have been binge-watching the James Bond movies on Netflix. I am mostly going in sequence, starting with 1962’s Dr. No and having worked my way up to 1979’s Moonraker. Watching these movies in quick succession has allowed me to see how quickly culture changes. In 1962, there were still segregated bathrooms. While that isn’t apparent in the Bond movies (that I could tell, at least), what I did notice was how the attitude toward and portrayal of women changed over those films. Early Bond had no qualms about backhanding a woman across the face, then later making what could most generously be described as aggressive advances toward the same woman, who ultimately gives in to her uncontrollable passion for Bond—cut to post-coital pillow talk.

There is also a feeling of the power of feminine sexuality in those films. I suspect some would say this is an example of objectifying women, but to me it feels more like something empowering.

It is interesting to see how the female roles became more assertive and less passive over time, in my mind culminating with the angry power of Grace Jones as May Day in 1985’s A View to a Kill. Yes, James still takes May Day to bed, but as he goes to do so, she deftly flips him over so she is on top. While I may be reading into things, this felt like a nod to the changing role of women in the Bond films. No longer would they be relegated to serving as handy plot devices that provide 007 with information and titillation.

This seems to continue to hold true in 1979’s Moonraker, as the main female character is a CIA agent, every bit as capable and seen as an equal to Mr. Bond. Old habits die hard, however, and she did carry the suggestive name of “Dr. Holly Goodhead.” According to AI, this is the first mention of a leading female character with a PhD in a Bond movie.

Another interesting bit was how they showed the kill shots of pheasants being hunted in Moonraker, clearly showing the birds being shot and falling from the sky. I suspect this would not be seen in any movie today.
Brutally murder 100 guys in an action scene? Yes, please.
Show the kill shot during bird hunting? Sorry—way too offensive.

I admit to feeling a sad nostalgia for these times gone by. Those values and norms have changed and will never be seen again. I say this from a mental standpoint of trying to withhold judgment. It is easy for us to look back and decry the unfairness and ignorance with outrage, but for the people of that time, this was the world they lived in. It felt “right” to them at the time. It was the world they knew, whether we like it or not.

I do think we have changed for the better… but then again, I am looking at that from my current mental framework of social values—just like we all are. There is no way around it. I suspect people have always felt the very same way: things are so much better than they used to be.

I also find it interesting to think that the stories we write today will inevitably capture the cultural mores of our time.

Which makes me wonder: will our writing be considered antiquated and offensive later on?

Almost certainly. But when it comes to writing, much like martinis, shaken is better than stirred.

—James

Profanity in Fiction: When It Helps and When It Hurts

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Profanity is one of those tools writers either lean on too hard or avoid like it’s radioactive. But swear words aren’t automatically “bad writing” or “edgy writing.” They’re just words and like any other words, they need to earn their place on the page.

If you’re deciding whether to drop an f-bomb (or like in some of my stories, fifty), here’s some guidelines I go by:

Every word should serve character or plot

A useful gut-check: what does this profanity do?

  • Does it reveal a character’s temperament, background, stress level, or worldview?
  • Does it intensify a moment that matters to the plot?
  • Does it sharpen the rhythm of dialogue in a way that fits the scene?

If the answer is “it just sounds cool” or “it makes this feel more adult,” it’s probably filler. Profanity is strongest when it functions as characterization.

Try this: Remove the swear word. If the line loses meaning, tone, or character truth, you may need it. If nothing changes, omit it.

Profanity comes with a real risk of offending some readers

I do think this is less of an issue than it was say fifty years ago, but it is something to keep in mind.The key is to choose intentionally and ask yourself:

  • Who is my target audience for this story?
  • What’s the tone I’m going for here (cozy mystery vs. grim thriller, for example)?
  • Am I okay with losing some readers because of this?

One thing profanity is good at is a quick way to signal genre and voice. It can also break immersion for readers who don’t like it.

Profanity should be true to the character, not the author

The best profanity usually feels inevitable. In other words the character couldn’t have said anything else.

A few examples of true to character uses:

  • A character swears when they’re scared, cornered, or losing control.
  • A character uses profanity casually because it’s part of their everyday speech.
  • A character never swears… until the moment it finally slips, and that tells us something about what is going on.

On the flip side, try to avoid:

  • A character who suddenly starts cursing because the author wants the scene to feel “more intense.”
  • Everyone in the cast swears in the same way (same words, same rhythm), which usually makes it feel like it’s the writer’s voice coming out of all of them.

Can you identify who’s speaking if you remove the dialogue tags? If swearing makes the voices blur together, then it’s really not adding anything of value.

Profanity should also be thought of as a natural byproduct of:

  • real emotion
  • real conflict
  • real character choices

If the scene is already powerful, profanity can add some heat, but if the scene isn’t working to begin with, adding profanity won’t fix it.

The one F-word check. I see this in stories a lot more than you would expect; a story has little to no swearing then, out of nowhere, a character drops the F-bomb.

If you use the F word only once in the entire story, ask yourself whether you really need it. There are two reasons I can think of why, as Ralphie would say, the Queen mother of dirty words would only appear once:

  1. It’s true to the situation.
    Maybe it lands at the exact right emotional peak, and the rarity makes it hit harder. Sure go ahead and keep it it in.
  2. Shock value.
    If the profanity exists mainly to jolt the reader, it can feel cheap and manipulative. Readers can can tell when the author is yanking at the steering wheel. It reminds me of a creative writing teacher I had who would always talk about the author “Showing their hand.” His point was that only in rare cases is that a good thing.

Before you submit, ask these questions:

  • Does this word reveal character or move the plot?
  • Would this character really say it, right here, right now?
  • Is it doing more than just trying to sound edgy?
  • Am I okay with the readers I might lose?
  • If this is my only F word, is it really needed?

If you can answer “yes” to those, you’re using language with intent.

The goal is to write in a way that is true to the characters and true to the story. Remember a great way to to test is by taking out the “bad words” to see how it affects the story. If, after that you still can’t decide… well, sometimes you just have to say “Fuck it.”

-James

Why Writing with AI Can Undermine Your Creative Growth

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I thought I would take a moment to comment on the use of AI to write fiction. My position on it is that if you are using AI to write fiction, you are cheating yourself.

You also miss out on the opportunity to learn. Like many things, writing is about the journey rather than the destination. *

 There is an in-the-moment cognitive side to writing, but there is also a muscle-memory subconscious side to it as well. As any writer can attest, when you are in the groove, or flow state it is sometimes called, you get to a point of uncertainty as to where the ideas are actually coming from. It can feel like there is place almost outside of yourself that you draw upon like a medium, allowing the words to funnel through you and onto paper. You get to the end of the tale and realize the story took on a life of its own; independent, and separate from your initial intended direction.

I do find AI to be a good educational tool when it comes to writing. For example, I noticed a lot of stories in Analog are in present tense. I don’t write in present tense very often (or very well), so I prompted ChatGPT with “Write a short fiction story in present tense” to see an example:

Title: The Elevator Stops at Floor Six

The elevator jerks to a halt.

I frown at the glowing button panel. No one pressed six. I’m alone, briefcase in hand, already late for the pitch meeting on twenty-one. The doors part with a reluctant sigh.

The hallway beyond is dark.

Not pitch-black, just… dim, like the building forgot to pay full attention here. The lights flicker weakly overhead, casting yellow puddles on the faded green carpet. It smells faintly of dust and something sharper—ozone, maybe. Like after a thunderstorm.

I shouldn’t step out. I don’t want to. But something tugs at me. Curiosity, or maybe the sense that I’ve been here before, in a dream I forgot to remember.

I cross the threshold.

The doors close behind me with a metallic whisper. I turn, startled, but there’s no button, no panel—just blank wall where the elevator once stood.

The hallway stretches in both directions. Silent. Still.

I pick a direction.

The silence isn’t empty. It hums. The way an old CRT TV would hum, just on the edge of hearing. And there’s something else—a soft sound, like paper rustling. I follow it.

At the end of the corridor is a door. Pale wood, unmarked, slightly ajar.

Inside is a room with no windows and a long table surrounded by mismatched chairs. A single incandescent bulb dangles from the ceiling. On the table: a stack of manila folders. Each one has a name written in marker on the front.

Mine is on top.

I don’t want to touch it, but I do. I open it.

Inside are photos—of me. Some are recent. Others are from years ago, moments I barely remember: my eighth birthday, the night I broke my arm in college, the exact second I decided not to call my father back.

I flip deeper.

There are transcripts. Conversations I’ve had, thoughts I haven’t spoken. One page reads: He steps into the hallway, knowing he shouldn’t.

My breath catches.

I look up.

There’s someone in the chair at the far end of the table. I didn’t see him come in. He’s wearing a suit that doesn’t fit quite right and has a face that feels like it’s borrowed—familiar, but wrong. He smiles gently.

“You’re early,” he says.

“For what?”

He opens a folder of his own.

“For your reassignment.”

I stare. “I don’t work here.”

“You didn’t,” he says. “But you came to floor six.”

He gestures around the room. The walls are pulsing slightly, like they’re breathing. The air smells like memory.

“This building is a little miswired,” he continues. “Sometimes people press twenty-one and end up here.”

“What is this place?”

“A sorting room,” he says simply. “Some floors are about destinations. This one’s about decisions.”

I back toward the door. It’s no longer there.

“You can go back,” he says. “But you won’t be the same. That’s the price of seeing this place.”

“What’s the other option?”

He taps my file. “Stay. Help sort.”

I look down at the folder still in my hands. My photo stares up, mid-blink. I can’t tell if it’s asking or warning.

Behind me, the hum grows louder. The lights flicker once, then steady.

I pull out the chair beside him and sit.

Ok, that’s not too shabby. Maybe not the best short fiction I’ve ever read, but it did what I asked and gave a me respectable short fiction story in present tense.

Will I ever be tempted to submit this and feel like I was in any way the one who “created” it, just because I came up with the promp? No. Absolutely not. That is crossing my moral boundary and firmly against the rules of most markets.

(And yes, I do see the irony of publishing it on this blog, even as an example.)

Do I think AI will get even better in the future? Yes, absolutely it will.

AI will be able to emulate other writers and may even come to have a voice of its own (which is a weird and unsettling thought for me) but my voice is unique as well, and it is really up to me to put in the time and effort to build my body of work so I can be heard.

And I also think there is something cathartic about expressing ideas in your own distinct voice.

So until AI pries the keyboard from my cold dead hands, I will continue to write. I do it for the journey, for my own mental health, and just in case someone out there might read it and think, “Hey, I like what this guy has to say.”

-James

* I fully acknowledge this must sound like a bit of double-talk coming from a place with a tag line that reads: “All about getting published,”