Consider the difference between these two lines:

“I thought you were—”

“I thought you were…”

They use the same words, but the ellipsis and em dash suggest different things happening.

In the first sentence, the speaker gets cut off. This is typically when they are being interrupted by another character, but could also be interrupted by some event, like an alarm, a door flying open or someone holding their hand up to cut them off.

In the second sentence, the ellipsis suggests the character’s words are fading because the speaker is hesitating for some reason. Oftentimes this indicates a character who is unsure of what to say next or may be changing their mind about what they want to say.

That is where punctuation gets interesting for fiction writers. It can suggest interruption, uncertainty, emphasis, and relationships between thoughts. Combine it with typography and white space, and you can influence how readers experience the action before you explain any of it.

We tend to learn punctuation as a collection of rules we all need to follow so we don’t look like amateurs in front of those gate-keeping editors. We need them to like our stories so they get published, after all. Punctuation, along with typography and white space, is great for conveying action and emotion without actual words. I like to think of these grammatical devices as a sort of subtext. I admit that is probably not the proper way to think of them.

Em dash vs. ellipsis

An em dash (—) commonly signals an abrupt break in dialogue. An ellipsis (…) commonly signals hesitation, faltering, or trailing off. The Chicago Manual of Style describes this distinction, but keep in mind that context still determines what the reader hears.

“Whatever you do, don’t touch the—”

The room went dark.

The dash helps the action interrupt the warning. We do not need to add a bunch of words to describe the character being interrupted, we understand it from that little bit of punctuation. In fact, I would even argue that the dash is better than a bunch of words as it feels immediate. It’s like we just watched it happen.

A dash can also mark a sudden correction:

“I never took your wallet—I mean, I never opened it.”

That little change of direction gives us more than a pause. It gives us a character attempting repairs while the confession is still coming out.

An ellipsis can suggest reluctance without necessarily cutting the character short:

“Yes… technically, the house is still standing.”

The hesitation makes technically considerably less reassuring.

For fiction, the Chicago Manual generally uses three dots for an ellipsis, including at the end of a complete sentence. That differs from some conventions for marking omissions in quotations. Follow the publication’s preferred spacing and formatting instead of adding extra dots to measure a longer silence.

Using hyphens, question marks, and exclamation points to shape delivery

A hyphen can suggest a repeated sound:

“D-don’t open it.”

That differs from a dash cutting off a word:

“Don’t op—”

In the first, the speaker has difficulty getting started. In the second, speech stops abruptly. Use repeated sounds selectively; a little can establish delivery without turning a character’s speech into an obstacle course or a caricature.

A simple change from a period to a question mark can turn an apparent statement into a request for confirmation:

“You sold the car.”

“You sold the car?”

The second sentence might convey disbelief, confusion, or a last desperate hope that someone is joking. The rest of the scene puts the character’s statement or question into context.

An exclamation point can indicate urgency or force:

“Look out!”

A word of caution with exclamation marks: use them sparingly. In Elmore Leonard’s 10 rules of writing, he advises using not more than two or three per 100,000 words.  And please never, ever use multiple exclamation marks!!!

Colons, semicolons, and parentheses direct attention

A colon can highlight a reveal:

He had forgotten one small detail: the dog could open doors.

The colon introduces an explanation; dramatically, it positions the payoff. I will often deviate from this and use an em dash, which, while not the most correct, feels the most correct to me. 

A semicolon is used to hold two complete, closely related thoughts together:

He locked the front door; the footsteps continued upstairs.

I am uncomfortable with semicolons and tend to agree with Malcolm Gladwell’s point of view. In his MasterClass video, he mentioned preferring to use a period or comma instead of a semicolon.

Parentheses can be used to create an aside, which is good for highlighting or putting a spin of the information.

Martin had a plan (Martin always had a plan), and that made her worried.

The aside lets the narrator lean toward the reader without using a ton more words to convey that. Parentheses can be useful for humor, doubt, or a narrator who keeps revising what is stated.

Italics can change or emphasize what a character means

I like to use italics a lot in my fiction.  Italics move the emphasis, which can create a significant change in meaning of the same words. For example:

“I didn’t say you stole it.”

“I didn’t say you stole it.”

“I didn’t say you stole it.”

The first sentence shows us the speaker trying to point out they weren’t the one to say it. The second sentence is leaving room for an accusation that was implied but not spoken and the third sentence suggests a different there was a different thief altogether.

Italics can also indicate thought. This is one of my favorite ways to use italics:

Please let that be the refrigerator, she thought.

Note that thoughts do not have to appear in italics. You can also accomplish this with close narration (also referred to as Deep 3^rd POV) can carry the thought without a type change:

Please let that be the refrigerator. She couldn’t handle another ghost.

The Use of Bold, Underlining, and Different Fonts

These should be used sparingly, as they attract more attention.  The aforementioned punctuation methods are quite a bit more nuanced and subtle. Bold, underlining and changing fonts hit the reader hard. This can be useful if that is what you are after.  

BOLD can be used to do something like indicate a warning on a screen:

DO NOT RESTART THE SIMULATION.

Underlining might matter because a character physically marked a note. You can show it when the format supports it, or make the action part of the prose:

Someone had underlined “alone” three times.

Underlining shows us what is happening and feels more immediate.

Font manipulation is tricky and my advice would be to generally avoid messing with anything other that what the market is asking for.  Comedian Don McMillan has a great bit on font choices. He does a better job of explaining it in the first part of his video than I can here.

Using white space to control reveals and comic timing

Paragraph breaks decide which pieces of information readers encounter together.

Compare this:

He checked the closet, the bathroom, and under the bed. Nothing. Then the bed sneezed.

To this:

He checked the closet, the bathroom, and under the bed.

Nothing.

Then the bed sneezed.

The second version has a different beat. The final line arrives independently, with room for the joke (or horror) to land.

The same kind of approach applies to sentence length. Short sentences can feel sharp:

The latch clicked. She froze. Too late.

But a longer sentence can carry momentum:

She caught the handle and pulled and pulled again while the footsteps crossed the landing and stopped outside her door.

Short does not automatically mean fast. Long does not automatically mean slow. Read the passage aloud and notice what the structure asks you to do.

I also want to again mention that you should always follow the market’s submission guidelines. A great story can do a lot to make editors reconsider how strictly they want to adhere to the submission guidelines, but most of the time you are better off doing what it takes to align with their requirements. If you do plan on violating what the publication is asking for by using a strange font or excessive underlining, at least make sure to do it later in the story, after the reader is hooked.

So let me know what you think about this topic and any punctuation or other methods you use to quickly convey action or emotion. 

-James

Side note: this is the 100th blog post (which also includes stories I have purchased) for Breaking Into The Craft. Thanks for coming along for the ride!