Category Archives: Intimidation

It’s possible I might not be that funny

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After several submissions to places that publish funny stuff, and the corresponding rapid-fire rejections, I am starting to come to the realization that I might not be that funny.

I feel like there was a time when I was funny. Like, back in high school… maybe. But that was a long time ago and thinking back, it’s probably more likely people were just too polite to tell me that I was annoying.

Or it could be the soul-crushing life-sentence of working a regular eight-to-five job that took the wind out of the sails of the good ship Fun Times.  You would think an Engineer with a sense of humor would be a breath of fresh air for most companies, but in reality people just think you’re weird when you tell a joke while holding a schematic.

Or maybe I am weird. I’m a grown man with a Steam account who can quote Rick and Morty and I also built my own robot arm making parts via my 3D printer. Yes, that’s all cool stuff, but not when you’re old. And no, I’m not telling you my age, but for reference, I took my daughter to Open Sauce last year (a YouTube “maker” event) and I didn’t think I was that much over the average age until someone congratulated my daughter on getting her grandpa to come.

I used to go out of my way to be funny at work. I remember a time when I bought one of those monstrously oversized Valentine’s Day cards, signed it “Love, Richard” and left it for Tony our IT guy. Richard was our salesman that always reminded me of the desperate guy on Glenn Gary Glenn Ross who rambled on about the leads, which made the joke even funnier to me.  I think Richard was actually kind of pissed about the whole thing. That also made it funnier.

Or there was the time I sent out a Christmas card that was just a sad picture of me with my cat, where I wore shooter glasses and had on a fake mustache and intentionally did a bad job of photo-shopping in a background that was way too nice to be my house.  The day after people got the card in the mail, I received a standing ovation at work.  So, yes, that was funny. Okay, weird funny, but funny.  At least to everyone but my future wife. We were dating at the time, so I sent a card to her.  She didn’t think it was funny at all and later told me she was questioning going out with me after that.

And just when I am rethinking my ability to be funny, wouldn’t you know it, one of my humorous pieces gets picked up by Chortle: Things my lawnmower does better than me.

So the whole point of this is that everyone has doubts. We just need to keep pushing through and trust we are doing the right things. And if we find out we’re not, hey, at least we are learning something along the way.

Let me know what you think in the comments below.

-James

Trying not to be intimidated

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I am currently crafting a story with the working title “Economic Robin Hood.”  It’s about a guy who is on the self appointed mission of finding people that are abusing government handouts and badgering them, (Read: Beating them up) until they get their life in order.

A big part of the story is showing the fallacy of the main character’s assumptions.  Which I am sure I do to try to not come off as a middle-class white male who writes stories bashing people on welfare.

It’s the kind of thing that would probably make for a great screenplay/movie due to the potential for some action scenes.  But for all the thrill of knocking out another story, I am not completely happy, as the content is really off of my main venue of Sci-fi. It’s more drama with an element of crime.

So I am kind of kicking myself a bit for not sticking with my chosen genera, when I get to read through the start of a story that my friend Matt is working on.

That Bastard.

It’s an awesome, insanely creative, Sci-Fi tale with some very cool characters. I would love to tell you more about it, but I am not sure how much he would want revealed. You just need to know it’s the kind of thing I am really, really, jealous of.  Like “Why didn’t I write this?” and “OMG he is going to get a Sci-Fi story published before I do.” kind of jealous.

But then I realize Matt doesn’t have the responsibilities in his life that I do. Matt’s only got the wife and two kids and farm to worry about. I have priorities, like spending hours on end playing Call of Duty Modern Warfare II with Jeff.

And it’s hard not to play when Jeff when he is getting so dammed good at killing the Juggernaut.

But Jeff’s not the type to get too excited about how I am doing on my writing and I really can’t blame him. When it comes to video games, I don’t get too excited about writing either.  I mean, I wouldn’t mind talking to him about it, but I don’t ever see myself saying “Hey, let’s just put down the controllers and see if you find my characters descriptive enough.”

He’s a sport and would totally do it, but I know it’s not his thing so I don’t put him through it.

I’m instead left with a twisting feeling in my gut that Matt is a better writer than I am, and maybe I am just not cut out to write Science fiction.  Or write at all.

Later on I am also put off a bit when I see a guy being interviewed on a documentary about the Universe and they credit him with something like thirty published Science Fiction novels.  I have never heard of this author, yet am very impressed with the number. Thirty novels is a ton. I haven’t even written thirty stories, let alone get any of them published.  And according to Matt’s wife, Penelope, the only real reason to be writing stories seriously is as a gateway to getting a novel published.

The concept of a novel just seems daunting to me. You can see how my Blog posts meander; imagine me trying to keep on point for two hundred pages. It’d be like trying to climb a mountain blindfolded while wearing roller blades; maybe not impossible but it’s gonna be one hell of a long trip.

I gather up my insecurities, stuff them away into the “ignore for now” storage unit in the back of my mind, and decide it’s better to not let the accomplishments of others keep me from taking my literary baby steps, no matter how absurdly gigantic those accomplishments might be or how close of a friend they are.

Because the worst thing I could do is to stop trying.

James

http://callofduty.wikia.com/wiki/Juggernaut_%28enemy%29