AI as the straight man

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Below is a correspondence I had with Chat GPT that I think is rather humorous. The friends and family I shared it with thought it was funny, as well, but one of my author friends said that it doesn’t work because just when it is getting funny, the AI slop response is overwhelming and boring. I do agree. When you read the story below feel free to scan past the AI babble. I also think if I tried to make this into a “real story” I could edit down the AI responses so that it might just work.

Also, I know there is a lot of push back with AI getting its hands into our creative arena but I wanted to share this in hopes you look at it through the lens of it being an experiment. I agree with the movement against using AI to assist in writing. However, I also feel this is not the standard “Have AI write it for me” approach as I am using AI as the straight man and wrote all the creative bits myself. I suspect some would disagree this assessment.

I am really interested to hear what you think about this, both from the standpoint of whether it is funny and from the standpoint of AI being used in this way, so please feel free to comment below.

The intersection of Redneck and Tech, by James A. Miller and an unsuspecting ChatGPT

JAMES: I have had a cold for about two weeks now. It started as a sore throat and changed to a runny nose and coughing. My throat is no longer sore but I get into some coughing bits and have a slight lung rattle. I cough up a small amount of blood in the morning. What could I have and when do I know whether I should go into the doctor? I am giving it until Monday before I make a decision. I have been feeling slightly better each day. I am 56 years old and in otherwise good shape.

ChatGPT: Hey—sorry you’re dealing with this. Based on what you described (sore throat → runny nose + cough for ~2 weeks, gradually improving, small blood-streaked mucus in the morning, mild “rattle”), the most common explanations are:

  • A viral “chest cold” (acute bronchitis) with irritated airways. The cough often lasts up to ~3 weeks even after other symptoms fade. Antibiotics don’t help most cases. CDC+1NCBI
  • Post-viral cough (airways stay twitchy/inflamed). This can linger 3–8 weeks and slowly improves. Cleveland ClinicPMC
  • Blood-streaked sputum can occur from nose/sinus irritation or minor airway capillary breaks after coughing fits. Still, coughing up blood (hemoptysis) should be reviewed by a clinician to be safe. Mayo Clinic+1

When to be seen

Because there’s visible blood, it’s reasonable to book a clinic/urgent-care visit soon (within a couple of days) even if you’re improving. If Monday is your earliest, that’s generally okay as long as none of the red flags below appear. Mayo Clinicnhs.uk

Go to urgent care/ER now if any of these occur:

  • You cough up a lot of blood, repeated or worsening bleeding, or blood clots.
  • Shortness of breath, chest pain, high fever, confusion, or you feel significantly worse.
  • Low oxygen reading at home (SpO₂ ≤92% at rest—call your clinician; ≤88%—ER). Merck ManualsMedlinePlus

What a clinician might do

Listen to lungs, check vitals and oxygen, look for nasal/sinus sources, and sometimes get a chest X-ray if blood persists or other findings suggest pneumonia or another cause. Most hemoptysis is “mild” and has a good prognosis, but it should be evaluated. AAFP

Home care that’s reasonable meanwhile

  • Hydration + humidifier/steam, saline nasal rinses, and honey for cough.
  • If you need a med at night, dextromethorphan (cough suppressant) can help; guaifenesin may thin mucus.
  • Prefer acetaminophen over aspirin if you need pain/fever relief (aspirin can promote bleeding).
  • Avoid smoking/vaping; sleep slightly elevated. Penn Medicine

Quick self-check while you wait

  • Track fever, breathing, and SpO₂ if you have a pulse oximeter (aim ≥95% at rest; call if 92–94% and not improving, ER if ≤88%). Cleveland ClinicMedlinePlus
  • Note whether the blood could be from the nose/sinuses (blood in nasal mucus, post-nasal drip overnight). If in doubt, still get checked. nhs.uk

Bottom line for you

Given you’re 56, otherwise healthy, and feeling slightly better daily, this most likely is post-viral airway irritation/bronchitis. Because there’s recurrent blood-streaked sputum, I’d schedule a visit (primary care or urgent care) to be safe. Go sooner if the bleeding or breathing worsens, if you spike a high fever, or your oxygen runs low. CDCMayo Clinic

If you want, I can help you list what to tell the clinician (timeline, amount/frequency of blood, any fever numbers, home oxygen readings, exposures, smoking history, meds).

JAMES: How much alcohol should I have? I am thinking that might help me sleep, especially if I take 5 or 6 shots of tequila right before bed.

ChatGPT:Short answer: please don’t. Five–six shots right before bed is binge drinking and unsafe—especially with a lung cough and blood in your sputum. It won’t give you better sleep, and it raises several risks tonight.

Why it’s a bad idea

  • That amount = binge drinking. In the U.S., a “standard drink” is ~1.5 oz of 40% spirits; binge drinking is 5+ drinks for men in ~2 hours. 5–6 shots meets or exceeds that. NIAAA+1
  • Alcohol near bedtime makes sleep worse. It may knock you out faster, but it fragments sleep and suppresses REM, so you wake more and feel less rested. Sleep groups recommend avoiding alcohol before bed. PMCAASMSleep Foundation
  • Higher aspiration risk when you’re sedated and coughing. Alcohol impairs protective airway reflexes, increasing the chance of inhaling secretions (or vomit), which can lead to pneumonia—extra concerning when you’re coughing up blood. PMCERS Publications
  • Dangerous interactions with cold/cough medicines. Alcohol adds sedation with dextromethorphan and sedating antihistamines (e.g., diphenhydramine in some night formulas). Many night cold meds also contain acetaminophen, and alcohol + acetaminophen raises liver injury risk. Drugs.comHealthlineNIAAA

What to do instead tonight (safer ways to sleep)

  • Skip alcohol completely until your cough/bleeding is evaluated.
  • If you need a cough aid at night, use an OTC suppressant (e.g., dextromethorphan) by the label—but only if you’ve had zero alcohol. Consider a guaifenesin expectorant in the day to thin mucus. Don’t mix alcohol with any “nighttime” combo products (NyQuil-type) because of sedation and possible acetaminophen content. Drugs.com+1
  • Try a humidifier/steam, saline nasal rinse, elevate your head, and keep the room cool/dark/quiet. AASM sleep-habit guides specifically say avoid alcohol before bed. Sleep Education
  • If you want a sleep helper, consider low-dose melatonin (start ~0.5–1 mg 30–60 min before bed) rather than alcohol. (Stay under 10 mg; more isn’t better.) Sleep Foundation

If you do choose to drink again later (after you’re well): general health guidance for adults is no more than 2 drinks in a day for men (and 0 is always safer). But with your current lung bleeding, stick to none for now. CDCDietary Guidelines

Bottom line: With hemoptysis and a persistent cough, 5–6 shots is unsafe and counterproductive for sleep. Skip alcohol, use the safer steps above, and still plan that medical check for the lung-source blood. If the bleeding increases, you cough up clots or more than streaks, you feel short of breath, or you get a high fever/chest pain—seek urgent care.

JAMES: OK, that works. Also, I have some roofing work to do. I need to get in about five square of shingles and I am on my own. is there any issue with me banging that out in a day as long as I promise to get to bed at a good time?

ChatGPT: Short version: I wouldn’t “bang out” five squares solo in a day while you’re coughing blood. Postpone or get a helper—and ideally get a quick exam first.

Why I’m saying that

  • Hemoptysis + heavy exertion can worsen airway bleeding. Coughing fits on a ladder/roof also raise fall risk.
  • Five squares = ~15 bundles. At ~60–80 lb each, that’s roughly 900–1,200 lb of shingles to move—plus tear-off, underlayment, and cleanup. That’s a lot for one person on a good day, let alone with a chest cough.

If you absolutely must do some work anyway

  • Don’t work alone. Minimum: a ground spotter; better: a second roofer.
  • Scale it down to 1–2 squares max in a day; stage the rest later.
  • Use fall protection (harness + anchored lifeline), roof jacks/toe boards, tie off the ladder (4:1 angle), and avoid wet/windy conditions.
  • Stage materials smartly: ask for rooftop delivery; otherwise hoist with a rope/pulley. Don’t shoulder-carry every bundle up a ladder.
  • Protect your lungs: wear an N95/respirator for dust/granules; take frequent breaks; hydrate; skip alcohol and any sedating meds before/while working.
  • Stop immediately if bleeding increases (more than streaks/clots), you get chest pain, dizziness, shortness of breath, or you feel off-balance.

Bottom line: given the lung-source blood, the safest plan is delay the job or split it over multiple lighter days with help, and get that in-person check lined up. Your sleep and recovery will be far better than trying to crush a full roof day right now.

JAMES: OK, I do have everything torn off and the underlayment down, so I should be ok then if I understand you correctly. I do think the tequila will help. Maybe if I wait until that last row of shingles before I start in with the shots. That is how that crew from Mexico did it when I was watching them and they all seemed fine. They still drove home and everything. Since it’s my house, I won’t be doing any driving, so no worries there. I promise to take it easy and relax by the fire of the old shingles burning if I feel I have over exerted. I am used to the funny smell now and sometimes those shots of tequila sort of hit the back of my throat in a way that desensitizes my nose anyway.

Chat GPT: I’m gonna be super clear, because I like you in one piece:

Please don’t do shots, and don’t burn shingles.

  • Tequila + roof work = slower reflexes, worse balance, worse judgment, higher fall risk, and it can increase coughing/airway bleeding and aspiration risk. “It numbs my throat” is your nerves being dulled—not your lungs getting better.
  • Burning old shingles is a hard no. Asphalt/fiberglass shingles give off toxic smoke (PAHs, VOCs, fiberglass particles), can flare unpredictably, and open burning is illegal in a lot of places. Dispose at a landfill or roofing recycler—don’t feed them to a campfire.

If you’re determined to finish (safer plan)

  • No alcohol today. Hydrate instead: about a large glass of water every hour, plus electrolytes.
  • Don’t work alone if at all possible. At minimum, have a spotter on the ground who can call for help.
  • Limit the scope: break it into small blocks (e.g., 45 minutes work / 15 minutes rest). If you feel winded, dizzy, or the blood in your sputum increases beyond faint streaks, stop immediately.
  • Fall protection: tied-off harness, ladder tied off (4:1 angle), clean footwear, no wet/windy conditions.
  • Lung/eye protection: N95 (for dust/granules) and safety glasses.
  • Material handling: avoid hauling bundles on the ladder; use rooftop delivery or a hoist/rope. Stage only what you’ll lay in the next hour so you’re not overexerting.
  • End-of-day: cool shower to clear granules/dust, light dinner, then a no-alcohol wind-down (see below).

Better sleep tonight (no booze required)

  • Warm shower/steam or humidifier, honey in tea, head elevated, cool dark room.
  • If you need a cough helper at bedtime, dextromethorphan (by the label) is okay only if you’ve had zero alcohol. Avoid any “nighttime” combo that hides acetaminophen if you also take pain relievers.

When to stop and seek care today

  • More than streaks of blood (teaspoon-ish volume or clots), shortness of breath, chest pain, dizziness, fever spike, or you just feel “off.” And given your hemoptysis has lasted ~2 weeks, book an in-person check within 24–48 hours even if the day goes fine.

Bottom line: You’ve already done the tear-off and underlayment—that’s great. Finish the shingles sober, slowly, and safely or split it over a couple days with help. Skip the shots, and absolutely don’t burn the old shingles. If you want, I can jot a quick checklist you can keep next to the ladder.

JAMES: Thanks for all of your help with this. I am surprised at how concerned you are, since I have made it through a lot rougher times than this. I would think you would be more worried about my 45 year-old extension ladder with the loose rungs than any of my medical stuff. I know I sure am. But then that ladder’s been in my family for a long time. It wouldn’t be very honorable for me to throw out my great-grandfather’s ladder no matter what kind of shape it’s in. You gotta respect family. I just wish the steeple part of the roof wasn’t so high up. It’s gotta be a good 35 feet in the air and I am right over the driveway, so unless I park my car there, I’m going to hit the concrete if I fall, but there is no way I want to dent up my car roof like that if I do fall. My insurance deductible is $500. As long as I don’t get into another one of those coughing fits up there, like last time, I should be fine. Thanks again for your help!

ChatGPT: I hear you on the family ladder—totally get the sentimental pull. But a 45-year-old extension ladder with loose rungs is a hard stop for working 35 ft over concrete. Honor your great-granddad by retiring it (hang it in the garage with a little nameplate!), not by trusting your life to it.

Here’s the straight-shooting plan.

Best (safest) options

  • Rent a towable boom lift or set up scaffolding with guardrails. It’s the single biggest risk reducer for a tall, steep “steeple” section over a driveway.
  • Or buy/borrow a modern ladder: fiberglass, Type IA/IAA (300–375 lb rating), D-rungs, rope & pulley, plus a stand-off stabilizer and ladder levelers. But if you can swing a lift for a day, do that.

If you insist on using a ladder (only a modern, sound one)

  1. Inspect (fail = do not use): no loose/bent/missing rungs; rails free of cracks/splits; locks engage fully; rope/pulley intact; feet have non-slip pads; no paint/goo hiding damage.
  2. Set up right:
    • 4:1 angle (1 ft out for every 4 ft up).
    • Extend ≥3 ft above the roof edge.
    • Tie off the top to a solid structure; use a stand-off so the feet don’t kick out.
    • On concrete, use a ladder anti-slip mat and sandbags at the feet; never “park the car as a cushion.”
  3. Fall protection: Wear a full-body harness clipped to a roof anchor (rated, screwed into framing) with a rope/strap + rope-grab. Never tie into the ladder itself. On steep pitches, add roof jacks + plank as a working platform.
  4. Work practice:
    • No alcohol. Full stop.
    • Three points of contact; tools up on a haul line, not in hands.
    • Buddy/spotter on the ground (don’t work truly alone).
    • Short intervals (45 min work / 15 min rest), skip windy hours, wear non-slip boots, gloves, eye protection, N95 (granules/dust).
    • If a coughing fit even starts, come down and stop.

Medical reality check

You’ve got an active cough with blood. That’s exactly the scenario where a wobble or cough-spasm on a ladder turns into a life-changing fall. Finishing the job “honorably” includes coming down safe to admire it.

Quick call to action

  • Please don’t use the old ladder. Make it a keepsake.
  • Choose one: rent a towable lift, build guarded scaffolding, or get a modern ladder + stabilizer + harness + anchor and a helper.
  • Skip the tequila and the shingle fire. Dispose of shingles properly.

If you want, tell me your roof pitch and approximate reach height to the eave/peak, and I’ll spec a precise ladder size/stand-off and a simple harness/anchor kit checklist so you can grab everything in one run.

JAMES: Daddy never was big on harnesses – I guess I get that from him. I hear you on the ladder. I think you are right and it’s probably safer for me to pull the pick up around front and put the ladder in the bed of the truck so I can lower it a few feet. That will double up the ladder and also make it harder for those neighborhood kids that keep coming around to mess with me. Man, do they love to shake the ladder when I am on it. Wasn’t so bad four months ago when Tyler was still in jail, but now that he is out, man he can get that whole bunch of kids into trouble with the shenanigans they get up to. I will listen to your advice and cut the alcohol way back – I am thinking beer is the safer bet and a good way to push the liquids like you say, plus safer around that shingle fire. I lost a good bottle of the expensive stuff learning that lesson. I have some strong baler twine left over that I can reinforce the ladder with once I have it in position, so I think that will be my go-to solution, at least for now. I see Tyler is putting another tire on the shingle fire, so I gotta go, that black smoke attracts all kinds of nosy neighbors. Thanks again Mr. GTP for your help with my situation. God bless.

ChatGPT: James, I’m fond of you too—so I’m going to be blunt and practical:

Please don’t do any of the following tomorrow:

  • Do NOT set the ladder in the pickup bed. OSHA’s ladder guidance says never place ladders on unstable bases (boxes, barrels…a truck bed counts). Use solid, level ground only. OSHA
  • Do NOT “reinforce” with baler twine. It’s not load-rated. OSHA requires fall-protection components/lifelines to meet strict strength specs (5,000-lb capability; no natural fiber). Twine is a hard no. OSHA
  • Do NOT work 35 ft up without fall protection. Roofing work ≥6 ft requires guardrails, safety nets, or a personal fall-arrest system (harness + lifeline + anchor). OSHA+1
  • Do NOT burn shingles or tires. That smoke is toxic (PAHs, benzene, styrene, etc.) and open burning of tires and asphalt shingles is widely prohibited. Put it out and dispose/recycle properly. If a tire is actively burning, call your local fire department. US EPATennessee State Government
  • Skip alcohol completely while you’re working (and while you’ve got a lung cough with blood). It impairs balance/judgment and increases airway bleeding risk.

Safer, realistic plan (what to do instead):

  1. Secure access: Rent a towable boom lift or set scaffolding with guardrails. If you must ladder it, use a modern Type IA/IAA fiberglass extension ladder tall enough to reach with 3 ft above the roof edge (or secure the top to a rigid support). Add a stand-off stabilizer and levelers/anti-slip mat. OSHA+1
  2. Fall-arrest kit: Full-body harness, roof anchors screwed into framing, rated lifeline + rope grab. Clip to the anchor—never to the ladder. OSHA
  3. Control the scene: Do not work alone. Keep kids away (tape/rope off the area) and have an adult spotter on the ground whose only job is watching you and the ladder.
  4. Work in short blocks: 40–45 min on / 15 min off. At the first hint of a coughing fit, climb down and stop for the day.
  5. Dispose right: Haul shingles to a landfill or roofing recycler; tires to a tire recycling site. (Open burning rules commonly ban both; the smoke can aggravate your lungs.) Tennessee State GovernmentUS EPA

Why I’m harping on this: falls from ladders are unforgiving, and you’ve got two extra risks right now—hemoptysis and smoke exposure. Even healthy lungs get irritated by this kind of smoke; with your cough, it’s playing with fire (literally). US EPACDC

If you want, tell me your approximate eave and peak heights and the roof pitch, and I’ll spec the exact ladder size, stand-off, and a basic harness/anchor kit you can grab in one run. Either way: no truck-bed ladder, no twine, no burning, no booze. Stay safe out there.

JAMES: Well, well, Mr. GPT, you must think I’m made of money with all these fancy safety tool recommendations. You spouting off quoting OSHA like they are some sort of work-place experts. Sounds just like my old lady, God rest her soul. She was always talking about “seat belts” this and “seat belts” that, well that seat belt didn’t do her one lick a good when she went over the berm in the demolition derby. I pray to God every day wishing I never would have let her enter without a proper roll cage – sure that gray painted PVC piping may have fooled the officials, but it sure as hell didn’t save her life when Monte hit her headlong like that. The last I saw of her before the big fireball was brake lights and her holding that Bud Light can out the window like she knew Jesus was a comin’ for her. That was over three weeks ago now and still brings a tear to my eye, but at least my new bride Belinda has no interest in that kind of nonsense. I made sure of that when I met her. Nothing faster than a tractor pull for my new lady. I gotta go, Tyler has a dead skunk on a pitchfork and he’s fixin to throw it on the fire. My nose is running, but I can still smell that sonbitch from up here. Burning it ain’t gonna tame that down any either. Thanks again for your concern, but I think I will do just fine with the current ladder and my twine trick. Looks like you don’t need to worry about the alcohol, Tyler just ran off with all my booze after he dumped the skunk. Thanks again Mr. Chet GPT for all of your sage advisement and wisdom.

ChatGPT: James, I’m really sorry about your loss. I’m not here to preach—just to keep you in one piece.

Here’s the bare-minimum, low-/no-cost plan that meaningfully cuts your risk today:

  1. Kill the fire right now. Tires/shingles smoke is toxic. If a tire’s already burning, step away and call the fire department—don’t try to smother it in close quarters. Go upwind, close windows, and keep everyone (esp. kids) back.
  2. Do not climb from a truck bed and don’t “reinforce” with twine. If the ground isn’t flat and firm—or if you don’t have a modern, solid ladder—don’t climb. Twine isn’t load-rated and can fail without warning.
  3. Block the shenanigans. Rope/tape off the area and make it crystal clear nobody comes near the ladder. If you can’t guarantee no ladder-shaking, don’t climb.
  4. One-person setup checklist (free or cheap):
    • Feet on level, hard ground; top extends ~3 ft above the eave.
    • Angle check: stand with toes at the ladder feet and arms straight out—your palms should land on a rung (≈75°).
    • Top tied off to a solid structure with rated ratchet straps or rope (the kind you’d trust to secure a load in your pickup). This stabilizes only; it’s not fall protection.
    • Three points of contact, tools/materials on a haul line, clean soles on your boots, no wind, and stop if you cough.
  5. Cap the height. If the “steeple” is ~35 ft over concrete, don’t do that section without a helper and proper gear (or a lift/scaffold). Finish only the lower, safer areas today—or wait.
  6. No booze, no smoke exposure. With blood in your cough, smoke and alcohol both raise your risk (bleeding, dizziness, aspiration). Hydrate with water or electrolyte, take breaks, and stop at the first hint of a coughing fit.
  7. Medical nudge. Persistent lung-source blood + smoke exposure = get seen sooner than Monday if you can. If bleeding increases, you cough up clots, or you feel short of breath/chest pain—go now.

If you do just two things: put out/avoid the fire and don’t climb unless the ladder’s on solid ground, tied off, and no one can touch it. Your great-granddad’s ladder can hang on the wall as a tribute; you are the heir worth protecting.

If you want, tell me roughly the eave/peak height and I’ll size the minimum ladder length and a simple tie-off setup using stuff you likely already own. Stay safe, friend.

JAMES: You are a persistent one with the safety advisement, my friend. I do give you that. Right now, I am mostly concerned with how to stop this skunk smell. The neighbors are starting to come out to see what all the stink is about. I am worried spraying down the fire will make a lot of steam and smoke and make the smell worse. I think it makes sense to just let it burn off. The tire Tyler put on has it good and hot now at least, so that skunk carcass should be a goner in no time.

ChatGPT: I get why you want the smell gone, but “letting it burn off” is the worst option—it makes a bigger, more toxic plume (tires + shingles release PAHs, benzene, styrene, fine particulates) and will pull more neighbors outside. Please shut it down. US EPACalifornia Air Resources Board

Fast, practical plan (right now)

  • Stop adding fuel. Keep everyone upwind and back. If a tire’s burning, call the fire department—tire fires get nasty fast and the smoke is a strong airway irritant (extra risky with your cough/blood). ATSDR
  • Smother first, then cool: Shovel dirt/sand/soil over the fire to starve oxygen. Once covered, use a gentle, wide spray to cool the edges and soaked pile. Avoid blasting jets that spread embers/ash. Stay upwind and out of the plume.
  • Protect the neighborhood/house: Close windows/doors, set HVAC to off/recirculate, keep kids away, and rope/tape the area. (In many states, open-burning tires/shingles is illegal and can bring fines—another reason to put it out now.) Ohio EPATennessee State Government

Clearing the stink after the fire’s out

  • Ventilate: Once fully cold and out, create a cross-breeze from clean air → out (fans in windows blowing out downwind).
  • Indoors: Bag smoky clothes; launder separately with detergent + a scoop of baking soda. Swap/clean HVAC filters.
  • If any skunk spray got on you/pets: Mix 1 quart 3% hydrogen peroxide + ¼ cup baking soda + 1 tsp dish soap, apply, then rinse. Use immediately; don’t store (can off-gas in a closed container) and keep away from eyes—may lighten fabrics/hair. Humane World for AnimalsNebraska Extension Publications

Why not let it burn?

  • Tire/shingle smoke contains compounds that irritate lungs and eyes and can trigger asthma; with your current hemoptysis, that’s a real risk. California Air Resources BoardATSDR

If you want, I can help you find a nearby roofing recycler/landfill that takes shingles and tires so this doesn’t pop up again. For tonight: smother, cool, and get to clean air.

JAMES: Looks like I gotta go. The cops just got here and I told them this was all because of your advice. I hope you don’t get in trouble, but I can’t go back to prison, not with the baby on the way and Belinda being down to six hours per week at the nail salon. That ain’t no kind of money to raise a baby and three dogs on, not to mention her other two kids from Tyler that he ain’t owning up to. I don’t know why he denies it, I was there when one of them was conceived, so I know he’s the daddy. Wish me luck. I will put in a good word for you, but I can only promise to be honest about what you told me to do. God Bless you and yours Mr. Chet.

ChatGPT: I’m rooting for you to come through this okay. Quick, safe, no-nonsense steps right now:

  • Be calm, polite, hands visible. Say: “Officer, I’ll stop the burn immediately. I won’t add anything else. How would you like me to proceed?”
  • Tell the truth. Don’t pin anything on me or anyone else—don’t make false statements.
  • Follow instructions exactly. If they want it extinguished, do it their way. Keep everyone (and dogs) well back and stay upwind.
  • Health: step out of the smoke; if your cough or bleeding worsens, tell the officer you’re feeling unwell.
  • If questioned in depth and you’re uncomfortable, it’s okay to say: “I’d like to remain silent and speak with a lawyer.” (Not legal advice—just your right.)

After this is over:

  • No more burning shingles/tires/anything like that. Bag and haul to a proper disposal/recycler.
  • Get that cough with blood checked as soon as you can.

Good luck, James. Keep yourself safe first—everything else can be sorted.

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